Louder than Words

Today I reunited with my ol' pal Jenny (McCarthy) - and bought and finished her book, "Louder than Words: A Mother's Journey in Healing Autism".

Her previous books, "Belly Laughs," "Baby Laughs," and "Life Laughs" have all been constant companions of mine through my own journeys through pregnancy, motherhood and post partum life. Her honesty and humor have guided me, encouraged me and inspired me along the way. I "laughed" along with her through the unexpected surprises of pregnancy and childbirth, and I "loved" along with her as I too became a full-fledged mommy, and so when I first discovered that her son Evan was diagnosed with Autism, my heart sank along with hers...

...And now, after reading her latest journey, I "hope" along with her as she proves that one should never understimate the power of "mommy."

Baby does not have Autism, and lets hope and pray it stays that way. I just felt this unrelenting and nagging desire to read her latest work since I've always admired her candidness and optimism, and now her bravery. She's yet another shining example of how far moms will go for their little ones.

The hubby and I were playing with baby earlier on our bed, as we always do, and I just had to stop baby during his tummy time antics to pick him up and hug and kiss him all over. And the hubby and I just looked at each other and shared how unbelievable this "love" is. We've just never felt anything like it before. And don't tell the hubby, but I think there's just a lil something special added between a mommy and her lil one. Something words cannot explain. Something much louder than words.

It's a crazy love. I'm just so enamored with my lil guy (and my big guy too!), that sometimes it's simply overwhelming. So much so that I've also become a manic and compulsive guilt-monger, worry-wart and have become intensely and empathetically sentimental. But I hear that comes along with being a Mommy. Somebody once told me that the hardest part in being a mother is labor and delivery...that somebody is probably NOT a mother. It's a feeling words cannot explain. It's something much louder than words.

I recommend Jenny's new book to everyone, especially all you mommies out there. Yes, it's about her journey in healing her little bird through Autism, but more importantly, I believe its more about the undying, unyielding and uncompromising love between a mother and her little boy, and how that love climbed hills and moved mountains.

I have to go now cause my little one is about to go down for the night and he always needs to see his mommy before he goes to sleep. Yup, he begins and ends his days with mommy. He's such a mama's boy! So what if he doesn't speak full words yet, we still hear him loud and clear. Even daddy knows when baby needs his mommy. It's this look in his eyes, and a smile he has only for mommy, that speaks volumes...

Louder than all his crying, louder than all his laughing. Much louder than words.